Hmmmmmm that makes me sound like some type of drug dealer!

But I'm not I am a 36 year old Mother of two absolutely awesome (what a fantastic word!) children. My Partner and I have a funny, cheeky, bright 2 and half year old little girl and a cuddly, adventurous, amazing 8 month baby boy.

I suppose you are wondering why I am counting out my pills (not the contraceptive type) that is because I am trying to work out if I have enough of my painkillers to last until the end of next week. I have a chronic pain condition, the type really isn't important, but its enough to have left me disabled. 

We are going on holiday next week, for four fun nights away in Scotland! I should be worrying about what to pack but no I am worrying if I have enough pain killers to last me until the end of next week. This is what my life has come down to, I go back to the fact that I am a Mother, my concerns should be do we have enough nappies, do I need buy any clothes for the children, do we need sunscreen or waterproofs? But no my concern is do I have enough pain killers to see me through or lets face it no one will have a good time if I am miserable and in pain! 

This makes me feel such a failure as a Mother, I am not the Mother I was meant to be and I am not the Mother I want to be! But did I mention that I have two awesome children and a wonderful partner? So maybe life isn't so bad after all! Now I am going to go and write a list of things for that wonderful partner of mine to do, because being disabled means that I have to rely on him completely. But that is another story! 

♥ Hope ~ Courage ~ Faith ~ Strength ♥